When I first stepped into London, I was a bit anxious. After being misinformed about almost everything about London and then Googling for ending hours, here I was, in in the heart of the British Empire. Here are few things that are absurdly confusing (OK, not absurd, maybe a cultural shock or maybe just absurd) in London.

1. They greet you with 'You Ok', 'Everything alright'.
The people in London don't greet you, 'Hello' or 'Hi'. They say, 'You ok', or 'Everything alright'. That is fine in normal London sense of way but the moment someone asks me that, 'What? How did you know?', 'No, everything is not alright.'

2. Chips are Fries and Crisps are Chips

New Mucchad mascot for the blog.

You ask for Chips and they give you fries. The universal code for getting a burger and a meal is, 'do you want fries with that?' In London, do you want chips with that? And the potato chips that we all love and adore, that no one can eat just one, are crisps and not chips.


3. The overtly attachment for fish and chips
Someone in the past invented fish and chips. The entire population liked it so much that they didn't bother inventing another seafood dish. Only seafood option available in most restaurants is fish and chips with an exception to fish pie which most of the bars seems to stock a lot. And they call these shops, chippy, nothing fishy about that!
4. Washing Machines in the kitchen
I still have to figure out the reason for the strategic placement of a washing machine next to my oven. A slight miss in the angle and I might end up washing my pie and burning my shirt.

5. Sandwich being the main item in a lunch menu
I will never understand how can a sandwich and a packet of chips (or crisps) be served at a lunch menu. Most of the time these sandwiches are not cooked, they are stuffed with cold meat, veggies and served in a nice packet. A genuine request to heat it up is responding with an even colder stare. That stare can only match with the weather in London.

6. Drinking hot tea to cool off on a hot summer day
That sentence is legit according to Londoners. What is the obsession with tea one can never understand, but there is an actual phenomenon called a 'TV Pickup'. The TV pickup happens when the entire nation plugs in their kettle at the same time to boil tea and causes a surge in their electrical networks.

7. The too much politeness

The first time someone held a door open, I felt good. Thank you, I beamed. The second time, I wasn't thrilled but I still beamed. Repeat that forty times a day and you finally give up. Londoners are too polite. They say 'Sorry', even if you accidentally bump into them. I sincerely believe that if a robber decides to rob me he will come up and say, "Sorry chap, can you please give me all your money?"

Solar charger that doesn't work as nicely as you expected.

8. The lack of Sun
Sun has a weird aversion to the country. There was an old saying that the sun never set on the British empire. That is hogwash. The sun never rose and even if it does, you have a hard time finding it amidst the storm clouds that are persistent across the sky. The lack of Sun only mocks at you if you proudly bring a solar mobile charger with you on your journey. British summer season comprises of a week of nice hot sun followed by two weeks of a spontaneous downpour.
9. Spontaneously standing in the queue for Banks, Supermarket, Parks and any random place that requires three or more person.
In India, people stand in queue when they are subjected to metal restraints, watched over by security guards who carry thick wood sticks. Then there is a fight, multiple queues and confusion about the correct queue. As a dedicated Indian who has come through this confusion I find it exceedingly appalling that in London, people spontaneously form queue at random places. You are standing for a bus and suddenly find people standing behind you.
10. License to watch television
The most interesting British citizen James Bond proudly boasts he has License to Kill. That is not some clever catch phrase, you need to have license for everything, including watching television. The house owner has given a television but you cannot watch it until you buy a license for it. "My name is Bond, James Bond and I have License to Kill,", "Yeah Sorry mate, until you pay the license to watch television I am not going to allow you too."